How to Love Yourself: A Guide to Loving and Living Well
Have you ever felt like you could be kinder to yourself?
Do you struggle to feel better about yourself?
Ever felt unloved?
The only love that truly matters is the love you have for yourself. Trouble is, we don’t always know how to love ourselves. No one ever taught us! how to love yourself
How to Love Yourself is your basic guide to loving yourself and claiming your special place in the Universe. It contains tips you can use each day to love yourself better, and live a more enriched life. The more you love yourself, the more wonderful your life will be, so don’t wait, get your copy now.
What people are saying:
“Simply amazing!”
“Deep down inside I know it is going to shake up my whole world!!!”
“This guide is very thought provoking.”
“Amazing and wonderful!”
Update:
In just its first two days, How to Love Yourself has been downloaded in 8 countries, and 18 states across the U.S.! I want to thank everyone for your wonderful support, and hope you continue to find messages of peace and inspiration in the book – and in life.
Read MoreHow to stop thinking no one loves me
This is a very difficult subject. Thinking “No one loves me” is one of the most self-defeating thoughts we can face, but the truth is that many of us have had those thoughts. So first, I want to congratulate you, because you are strong enough to face this fear.
Most people avoid facing this fearful thought. Why? Because what if it’s true? It’s such a scary thought that people will do anything to distract themselves or deny it.
FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real. Most of our fears are just a shadow, having no real substance. Yet, if we believe in our mind that they have merit, then we make them ‘real’. Start seeing through your fears. If you are afraid no one loves you, realize that is just a FEAR. Smoke and mirrors. You can make it seem real, but that sounds like no fun to me. See through your fears.
You don’t know what people really think of you. I recently moved away from the city I lived in for 3 years. When I went back to visit, it wasn’t the people who I thought loved me that really loved me. The people who came to see me were individuals that I didn’t think cared that much. Some drove 45 minutes out of their way to see me, and were excited to just hang out with me. The people I thought were true friends wouldn’t even cross the street to see me (I mean that almost literally). The point is that you never really know what people think of you. So, don’t make assumptions that will be hurtful to yourself.
No more lumping. In working with my Life Coaching clients, I notice that we often lump thoughts and assumptions together. If one person doesn’t like us, we think “No one likes me.” This lumping is untrue, and unfair, both to yourself and others. So, stop it. If you’re thinking “No one loves me”, step back and take a look at the truth. The truth is: “I don’t feel loved.” Now THAT you can do something about.
How to stop thinking no one loves me?
Recognizes others’ mirrors. If there is someone who acts like they don’t like you, realize that they are just reacting to their own reflection of themselves. It’s not you they don’t like, it’s their judgments of you they don’t like. Well who knows where they might have cooked up their opinions?!! Know this: Someone who is so busy judging others and being mean 1) Has some darkness going on in their own soul, and 2) That darkness has no reflection on who you are. You don’t have to listen to, trust, or believe their judgments. 3) They probably see the good in you, and are afraid they are lacking that goodness themselves.
Dig deeper. There is probably something deeper that you’re afraid of. I dug deeper last year and found that deep down I believed that I am a bad person. What spurred it was that someone told me I was a bad person! Wow, that hurt! I actually felt this pain so deeply that I wandered around town for hours, crying and pondering that thought. This was my way of working through the emotions of fear and frustration.
Do you know what I found? Even though deep down I believed I was a bad person, even deeper down, at my very core, I KNEW that I am a good person. A great person, actually. And so are you.
You are a great person. You deserve every goodness life has to offer. And you have the power to provide that for yourself. If, deep down, you believe something negative about yourself, know … KNOW … that even deeper down — at the very core of your soul — you are a great person. And your heart and soul KNOW it. You may have believed some lies about your worth, but those are just false evidences appearing real.
Love yourself
If you feel like no one loves you, the love yourself. If you’re not sure how, read How to Love Yourself. It’s why I wrote it, to help you love yourself.
The truth is that people love you. And so do you. It is why you are seeking messages of love. It is why you are reading this message, because the you that truly loves you — and will love you forever — is causing you to seek and find messages of love.
It’s time for you to nourish yourself with love.
Read MoreHow you live is how you love
A fan of the site sent me this wonderful poem. Please take a moment to read it, and share it. As you read, consider that you are the adult AND the child in your life. You are always learning. So… what are you teaching yourself? What attitudes are you living with each day?
love quotes
Children Learn What They Live (1969)
By Dorothy Law Nolte
love quotes
If a child lives with criticism,
He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
She learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
She learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
She learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
She learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
She learns to like herself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
They learn to find love in the world.
Loveland: Music for Dreaming and Awakeningby Jai Uttal
Enter Loveland...a place where time dissolves, and the heart within your heart is awakened
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How to be kinder to yourself
A coaching client recently asked me how to be kinder to yourself. I gave him a list of things. Maybe you’ve been wondering the same thing! Even if you’re not exactly mean to yourself, I think we can all could be a little kinder to ourselves. Try this list:
Believe you’re worth it. Being unkind to yourself comes from a place of fears deep down that you’re not worthy of love, compassion or peace. Those feelings may run very, very deep. But know that they are only FALSE fears, and that you LEARNED them somewhere. They are NOT TRUE.
You have every right to love, joy, and peace in this life.
Pull out the poison. Take it from someone like me who believed SO deeply that I was a bad person. It was sabotaging and slowing progress on all my efforts to create a good life for myself. I had to face that fear head on. When I did, I realized how that deep-seated fear was completely false.
Remember this: Even if you have deep feelings of self-loathing, sadness, or self-dislike, EVEN DEEPER is the knowledge that you are beautiful, worthy, wonderful, and amazing. Start to see the fears your negative emotions stem from. Face them head on! When you do, you will realize they are but shadows and dust (extra points if you can guess that quote!).
Get friends and loved ones to point out your positive attributes. Find some of your own to write down on a piece of paper. Focus on these anytime you feel your negative emotions coming on. It’s time to reeducate your fears with the TRUTH about how great you are 
Don’t be a bully. If you’re wondering how to be kinder to yourself, then you’re not being nice to yourself. Frankly, you’re being a bully to yourself, so stop it! Would you treat someone else the way you treat yourself? Probably not. So what place to you have treating yourself badly?
Do nice things. This seems obvious. But have you really thought about it, or did you always brush this thought aside? Think about it now, what nice things could you do for yourself? How can you spoil yourself?
Think of it this way – If you were going to do something nice for someone else, what would you do? A romantic evening with candles and delicious foods? A thoughtful gift of flowers or candies? A card with a beautiful message? Well… Do that for yourself! Treat yourself to a movie. Take a much needed nap.
Don’t tell anyone, but when I had really bad days, I would send myself a loving and encouraging email, just to hear it from an ‘outside’ source.
Be kinder than necessary. Perhaps you come from a situation where not only are you neglectful, you’re downright hurtful to yourself. This can be through thoughts or actions. Like a pendulum swinging from one extreme to the other, you may need to be kinder than necessary to yourself. Go throughout the day being extra nice to yourself. See what happens.
Have an attitude of compassion. If you saw a kitten stuck in a tree. You would want to help it. Your desire to help it comes from feeling compassion. You can imagine how scared and helpless that kitten feels.
Well, everyone feels scared and helpless sometimes. Even you. To be kinder to yourself, recognize when you feel like that kitten stuck in a tree. Open your heart and allow yourself to feel compassion and a desire to see your own situation improve.
That’s just a list, let me know your thoughts!
Just One Thing: Developing A Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Timeby Rick Hanson
Research has shown that little daily practices can change the way your brain works, too. This book offers simple brain-training practices you can do every day to protect against stress, lift your mood, and find greater emotional resilience.
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